The List
by the dyslexic bookworm
Summary: This is a list of stupid or funny things me and my friends did throughout middle school


_**Things We Learned in Middle School**_

_**By: Sarah N. , Stefanie H. , and Erika N.**_

_**Based on real events**_

_**Thanks to everyone who is in the list!!!**_

**_(AN) u may not understand the 1st part, but ull get tehe ned...l.oh and im sarah n_**

This is a list of stupid, odd, silly or funny things we said or did throughout middle school. The names in () are the people who did or said this.

1) Falling off the bus, not fun. (Laura)

2) Screaming out "shit" in the middle of science class, bad idea. (Sarah N.)

3) Never sic any vicious creature on your friends, such as birds and brothers. (Erika)

4) Ms. Conlan doesn't like comedy corners, neither does Mrs. Merrill. (Stef. And Sarah N.)

5) What happens at the Halloween party stays at the Halloween party (All, but Meghan)

6) DO NOT Grind with Bo. Ever. (Bo and Sarah N.)

7) Fan fiction is addicting. (Laura, Meghan, Sarah N., and Molly)

8) Anything involving big brothers, alcohol, drugs or mold is a bad thing. (Erika)

9) Spazzing. Not as fun as it looks. (Sarah N. and Stef.)

10) If you have two friends, one who does not feel like talking, and one, who is scared to say anything…the conversation is awkward. (Sarah N. talking about Erika and Laura)

11) People do not make good chew toys, they make great ones. (Erika)

12) Shake-a-spear talk is cunfuzling. (Sarah N.)

13) Spawns of Satan do not make good gym partners. (Meghan)

14) Climbing on the roof is a big NO-NO (Sarah N. and Meghan)

15) Beware of the girl scouts….and the non-existent dog. (Erika and Sarah N.)

16) Fish people!? (Erika)

17) Always make sure your dad is in the state before promising your friends that he will give them a ride. (Erika)

18) I am the official baby-rent-head. (Sarah N.)

19) God hates you, deal with it. (Sarah N.)

20) The formula is not on the _yellow _board, and the sun is not, and will never be, a planet. (Sarah N.)

_Mrs. Washington is talking and writing a formula on the white board_

_"It's already on the black board." (Sarah N.)_

_"Mrs. Washington the formula is on the black board already." (Sarah N.)_

_"Mrs. Washington!" (Sarah N.)_

_"Yes." (Mrs. Washington)_

_"The formula is on the yellow." (Sarah N.)_

_"What?!"(Everyone in the class)_

_"I mean it's on the black board, spry I was looking at that yellow planet on the model." (Sarah N.)_

_"Sarah, that's the sun." (Luke)_

21) Scales are fun….DON'T ASK. (Erika)

22) Passing notes on the floor is pointless…and throwing notes is just a plain old bad idea, trust me. (Sarah N.)

23) "Mrs. Washington put me and Erika on different sides of the room; I needed to pass Erika notes, but how? So I threw one, and she wouldn't respond, so I threw another, I kept telling her to throw one back or find a way to reply. On the 18th note thrown by me, Mrs. Washington caught me, it took a full 18.(Sarah N.)

24) Then a few months later Stef and me. were passing notes, she passed them under the table but Mrs. Washington caught her. I tried once under the table but missed, so I threw them to Stef. I never was caught. (Sarah N.)

25) Halite tastes salty, very salty…IT BURNS!!! (Erika, Sarah N. and Stef.)

_"Guys, I don't believe halite is that salty, I'm gonna try it." (Stef.)_

_"I'll try it too" (Erika"_

_"And Me" (Sarah N.)_

_"Ahhh it burns" (Stef.)_

_oh what a world" (Erika)_

_"Ow" (Stef.,)_

_"It's really not that bad, I like it" (Sarah N.)_

_"You're weird." (Erika)_

26) Do not mix halite and chex-mix no matter how much fun it looks. (Erika)

27) Mr. McGee will think you skipped class if you go home early and come back after his class. (Stef.)

28) Do not EVER lose a lab. Especially if it's not yours. (Molly, it was Sarah N.'s lab.)

29) Three words. Jello eating contest. (all, but Meghan)

30) Try to refrain from putting notes in the bathroom wall. Lord have mercy if they are found. (Sarah N, Laura, Stef., and Meghan)

31) NEVER EVER let Sarah N. give you a clothing make over. Shopping is PAINFUL!!!! (Erika)

32) Erika!!! That's not true!!! I stuck my tongue out at you, ha! I rue the day I let Erika type on my list. (Sarah N.)

33) Okay not my list, you can stop glaring now, but it was until you added to it. (Sarah N.)

34) Please ignore numbers 31,32 and 33…fine, not 31 only 32 and 33. (Erika and Sarah N.)

35) Drinking double chocolate chip cream frappachinos at night will keep you up. Seriously. (Erika, Sarah N. and Sarah H.)

36) Please, never EVER yell "THE POPE!!!!" or "SCISSORS!!!" around Laura, Molly, or Sarah N. (Laura, Molly And Sarah N.)

37) Unless you like having a broken nose, don't call certain people "Step on me" "Meghen" "Megnog" "Hennypenny" etc…because it just doesn't work. (All)

38) It's always the quiet ones. Always. (Erika)

39) Middle school sucks. We mean it. (All)

40) Sarah N., Sarah H., and Sarah H. Kinda makes your head hurt, doesn't it? (Erika)

41) LA VIE BOHEME!!!!!!!!! (All)

42) Silence can say a lot. DAY OF SILENCE '07 (All)

43) We have reached WW13, thank you Meg-lah and Steffy-wah. (All)

44) It's Meghan and Molly, not Mollen and Meggy. (Sarah N.)

45) Do not mess with Sarah squared. (Sarah N. (Sarah #1) and Sarah H. (Sarah #2))

46) Alexander Ham-i-ly-ton laughing in Mr. Ruiz's class, I'm still not sure why. (Stef., Laura and Sarah N.)

47) Where is the ham in the cabinet when George is home? Second shelf on the left. (Stef., Laura and Sarah N.)

48) Translation: Where in the presidents cabinet was Alexander Hamilton when George Washington was president? He was the Secretary of Treasury. (Stef., Laura and Sarah N.)

49) When life gives me lemons, I make apple juice. Then I wonder, _how the hell did I get apple juice?_ (Erika)

50) Stef… this : is notthe same thing as this :P (Sarah N.)

51) _"Guys…think of isolation." (Stef.)_

_Silence_

_"It's insulation, Stef, not isolation." (Sarah N.)_

_"Oh." (Stef.)_

_part b: "What is insulation" (Tracy)_

_"I don't know. Think of isolation." (Stef.)_

_"What is that?" (Tracy)_

_"It is when your isolated. You know, alone." (Stef.)_

_"Oh." (Tracy)_

_"So isolation is insulation minus the "N". So maybe insulation is isolation with heat." (Stef.)_

_"I'm not even going to try to comprehend what you just said." (Stef.)_

52) Fear Mix!!! WTF?! (Erika) _(She was writing on the top of Mrs. Washington's colored pencil box. She was writing Fear Me, but then look over at my paper at what she had written before, Meow Mix. The End result was she wrote Fear Mix)_

53) Stef, has bad hearing:

_Butt, not Mutt_

_Sheet, not Seat_

_Lunar, not Linear_

_Book, not Crook_

_Bunk not Crunk (it wasn't infact bunk, it was book.)_

_Annular, not Angular_

54) It's Stefy's "Sexy blue tongue" not Stefy's "Sexy blue thong." Sarah N.'s hearing could use some work too.

55) Lord love a duck. WTF?! (Erika)

_Apparently it is the equivalent of "Oy Vey" in Irish. Ask Erika's mom._

56)_ "Erika's mom is Irish?" (Sarah N.)_

_"Yeah." (Erika)_

_"Oh, okay." (Sarah N.)_

57) _"Silver and refrigerator rhyme." (Stef.)_

_"No they don't." (Sarah N.)_

_"Well they do in my head." (Stef.)_

_"I DO NOT want to know what goes on in your head." (Sarah N.)_

58) "Stef. Stop talking with that horrible accent." (Sarah N.)

59) Computer lab during science class + Sarah N. + Stef. + Erika oy-vey

60) Stef starts saying sarah and then falls off her chair, we ar ein the computer lab.

_"Sa-da-rah" (Stef.)_

_"Wait who's talking about Sadam?" (Erika)_

61) WE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sleep over history at Sarah N.'s house. (Meghan, Sarah N., Sarah H., Molly, Stef. and Erika)

62) I (Sarah N.) takes good note in science.

_"Don't throw these out (referring to the non-typed Things We Learned List draft)" (Stef.)_

_"Yeah, 'cuz I'm gonna throw out my science notes." (Sarah N.)_

63) _"STFU!" (Erika)_

_"What?" (Sarah N.)_

_"Shut the fuck up!" (Erika)_

_"Oh." pause "Hey, wait a minute. That's mean." (Sarah N.)_

64) _"I'm high off life!" (Sarah N.)_

_"I'm just high in general." (Stef.)_

_"I wanna be high!!! I wanna be high!!!" And on and on… (Erika)_

_"STFU Erika! HA!" cabbage patch dance (Sarah N.)_

65) "_Since I was confirmed, my initials sound like a disease." (Stef.)_

_"What are they?" (Meghan)_

_"SJVH" (Stef.)_

_"Ha" (Meghan)_

_"It's like in a game of sexual monopoly, you have SJVH get immediate help. Pay 10,000 dollars for drugs." (Stef.)_

66) _"Know how I read lmao, like mayonnaise, I don't know why, it's just when ever someone's im-ing me it is always mayonnaise." (Stef.)_

67) "No way. My button to my pocket goes on the inside. You can't see it look. That is so hot. (10 seconds later) oh no. it won't go back in. all my pockets have to be buttoned or else I can't deal with my pants. (10n seconds late) Alright. I got it. It's all good." (Stef.) There is no need to add a scenario or explanation.

68) According to Erika "We all gonna die, we all gonna die…"

69) A is for Anarchy.

70) Sitting at our lunch table, Sarah N. sits down, she (_I_, because this is on my computer account and I wrote and typed it) refers to her school lunch, which was pizza with a from of meat on top.

_"Oh my god, my meat is meat!" (Sarah N.)_

_"Your meat is mean?!" (Stef.)_

_"The meat is mean." (Erika)_

_"No it's meat." (Sarah N.)_

_Laura enters_

_"We know it's mean meat." (Erika )_

_"Ok then." (Laura)_

_"Sarah, look my meat is actually meat." (Sarah N.)_

_"Its meat?!" (Sarah H.)_

_"Its meat." (Sarah N.)_

_"Its meat?" (Sarah H.)_

_"Meat!" (Sarah N.)_

_"Meat!" (Sarah H.)_

_"Shut up!" (Laura)_

_"Meat!" (Sarah N.)_

71) _"Mayonnaise should have its own currency symbol." (Erika)_

_"I'm not gonna ask" (Sarah N.)_

_"This should go on the list" (Stef.)_

_"It really should have a symbol" (Erika)_

_"It should right" (Stef.)_

_"And should also have a cymbal like the type with the drums" (Erika) Erika makes drum noises and cymbals_

_"And a mayonnaise symbol, wait we have that, I settle for a music symbol, nope, they invented those to dam it" (Stef.)_

_More noise by Erika_

72) "The thing is, they are saying this while I'm updating the list, so I had to enter quickly and start scribing for them, it's odd they sit there talking and I have to type really fast in short hand and then go and put it in words people will understand it in. I am Sarah N. if you didn't figure that out already, I get to be in charge of the list and update it and write stuff down, because it was my idea, aren't I soooo lucky...I was being sarcastic"

73) No matter what happens, Mrs. Washington will always think her subject is more important than anything else, get ready for lots of homework and labs that you wont have enough time to do, and you don't know the information because Mrs. Washington never explains anything clearly.(Sarah N.)

74) Robbers use the door bell.

75) _"Stef has her first boyfriends of 8th grade and it only took her all year!!!"_

_"Congra…how do you spell congratulations" (Erika)_

_"Don't ask me, I'm dyslexic, I can't spell anything" (Sarah N.)_

_"a n y t h i n g" (Stef.)_

_Sarah smacks Stef with science book_

76) RVMR, the dyslexic RAWR. (Sarah N.)

77) _"Knock knock" (Stef.)_

_"Who's there" (Sarah N.)_

_"Lettuce" (Stef.)_

_"Lettuce who" (Sarah N.)_

_"Lettuce in, ha ha" (Stef.)_

_"I don't get it" (Sarah N.)_

_"You know lettuce in, let us in" (Stef.)_

_"O" (Sarah N.)_

_"Wow" (Erika)_

78) Erika pokes Sarah N.

_"Not now, I'm concentrating." (Sarah N.)_

_Poke mumble (Erika)_

_"Not now" (Sarah N.)_

_Poke…mumble mumble (Erika)_

_"Erika!!!" (Sarah N.)_

_"Do you want to be thrown out the window?!" (Erika)_

_"Defenestrated." (Sarah N.)_

_"What?" (Erika)_

_"The verb, to defenestrate…to throw someone out a window" (Sarah N.)_

_Silence_

_"What?!" (Sarah N.)_

79) "Do you ever feel like your surrounded by baboons…because I do. Baboons throwing index cards and poking me with pencils…baboons that look oddly like Erika and Stef." (Sarah N.)

80) Refering to my notes.

"Maybe it's in my note-book, that's where I usually keep my notes until retarded baboons come and eat it …or Stef. And Erika steal it—" hint hint (Sarah N.)

81) Stef. steals Sarah N.s note book and is reading the list.

_"Hey look, remember the other day when I said…blah blah…and you said…blah blah... ha ha ha—" (Stef.)_

_"Stef. I know what I said, I was there. Now give me my science notes! " (Sarah N.)_

82) _"What's the definition for Humid?" (Sarah N.)_

_"Human?" (Erika)_

_"Hubid…I mean humid" (Sarah N.)_

_"It's HUMID!" (Tracy)_

_"Human?" (Stef.)_

_"It's Cuban?!" (Erika)_

83)_ "Does that say collect the peppers at the end of class?!" (Erika)_

_"Papers Erika, peppers." (Sarah N.)_

84) Stef. does the I'm watching you signal to Erika, and pokes herself in the eye

"_Ha ha" (Erika)_

_"Sarah, I poked myself in the eyes doing the I'm watching you signal"_

_"Stef. Do you have any big index cards?"(Sarah N.)_

_Stef. Hits herself in the head_

_"Ow" (Stef.)_

85) _"My tummy is loud." (Stef.)_

_"Okay" (Erika)_

_"I'm hungry. I need a cookie." (Stef.)_

86) _"Guys, shhh. I'm trying to pay attention." (Stef.)_

_"OH MY GOD I think she's serious" (Erika)_

_"No shit sherlock" Rolls eyes at Erika (Sarah N.)_

87) "In the beginning there was nothing…which 'sploded." (Erika)

88)_ "Blah blah blah…terrestrial planets…mars, Venus…solid" (Mrs. Washington)_

_"So terrestrial means solid?" (Sarah N.)_

_"Terrestrial means made of land, and land is solid." (Mrs. Washington)_

_"I didn't know that." (Sarah N.)_

_"You didn't know land was solid?!" (Mrs. Washington)_

_"Not that, I didn't know terrestrial meant land." (Sarah N.)_

89) _"Oh my god I found my pencil." (Stef.)_

_Stef. kicks table accidentally instead of pencil_

_"You need better foot-eye coordination." (Erika)_

_(5 minutes later)_

_"Sarah I did the funniest thing, I meant to kick my pencil but I kicked the table, like this" (Stef.)_

_Stef. demonstrates kicking table, misses and kicks Erika_

_"Woops" (Stef.)_

_"Ow" (Erika)_

90) "Teachers are too old. Like we would actually take notes. Wow Mrs. Washington, in science we write the list, we're not writing down how to calculate the sun's apparent path in the sky during the fall equinox." (Sarah N.)


End file.
